I had a this cat. His name was Gatto. Gatto was gifted with an ability to control me whenever he chose. Take for example when I sat down to read the paper. He would start by looking up at me, insisting that I pick him up, set him on my lap and pet him. If I didn’t he would paw at the paper, pull against my pants or rub against my leg.
He would do anything, anything at all so I would pay attention to him. Once he even plopped himself on the paper I was reading and looked up at me as if to say, “Now you can’t ignore me.” After Gatto had successfully commanded my attention, he would leave, satisfied that he had gained what he was after.
People are like Gatto, they too want attention. And they will go to great ends to get it. But why attention? What is it about attention that is so compelling that most if not all humans go desperately in search of it? Perhaps a definition is a good place to start answering that question.
The meaning of the word attention I will use here is, The taking of notice, regard, or heed of someone or something. It is an awareness of who someone or something is and what he, she or it is doing.
From the definition it can be seen that attention, as a concept, is not easily described. In fact, the giving and receiving of attention is an incredibly complex activity. It is a multi-faceted phenomenon defying a simple explanation. The following presentation will focus on but a few of its many facets, emphasizing what it is and how it operates.
The types of attention and how they are given
In the definition of attention given above, it is described as an active display of our awareness of another person or thing. That awareness is usually displayed in three ways: Visual, Verbal and Physical attention.
Visual attention occurs when one person looks at another. When a person displays a behavior, causing another person to look at him or her, that other person is giving visual attention to that person and his or her behavior. This simple act of looking at another constitutes visual attention. Verbal attention comes about when one person speaks to another. So, if a person says something to a person that “saying-something,” qualifies as verbal attention.
Physical attention is given when one person touches another. And that usually occurs when an individual acts in some way causing another to touch or make physical contact with the person displaying that action. Physical attention can also be given when one places him or herself near another.
When any of the three types of attention is given it can also be presented in one of two ways; positively and negatively. Attention, when presented in a positive manner, is delivered in a cordial, pleasant and a complementary fashion such that both parties sense the encounter as a friendly interchange. Conversely, when negative attention is given it is done so in a critical, complaining and challenging style, often provoking a rebuttal from the person receiving such attention.
The power of attention
Attention, visual, verbal and physical, is one of the most, if not the most, powerful motivators of all human behavior. Money appears to be in second place because even rich people yield to the power of attention. The wanting of attention begins shortly after birth and pervades our existence until death. For that reason, attention serves to direct our actions so as to can gain that attention. And that action, our behavior, can range from the common to the unusual.
Some common behaviors we will enact to gain attention includes putting paint on our faces, applying chemicals and even hot irons to our hair, or lying in the sun so as to change the color of our skin, just so others will marvel at what they see and tell us about it-verbal attention.
Humans will also do unusual, even more exotic things to gain attention. Some of us will climb mountains, others will swim channels and still others will attempt to eat, in three minutes, as many hot dogs as they can, or see how far they can throw an egg. All of this is done for the same purpose: Attention. So powerful is the need for attention, that there has been a medium established to formally recognize that need. It is a book dedicated to giving notice to those who accomplish unusual feats, it’s called the Guinness Book of World Records.
Attention as a need
Human beings have many needs. A need is characterized as “something useful, required or is
lacking.” (1.) A listing of all these needs could number in the hundreds. Food, water, physical safety, love and affection, to mention a few, are prominent among these needs. Also prominent is one need often mentioned but not described in detail - attention
Not only is attention a need, attention also satisfies a need, the need for attention. It is the attention given by others that satisfies our need for attention. Attention then serves a dual function, both as a need and the satisfier of the need for attention. Did I mention that attention is a complex topic?
Attention as an unrelenting need
One tends to think that when our need for attention is satisfied, our reservoir is filled and we don’t need attention again until our tank runs-out. But that’s not the way attention works. Just ask any mother of a young child who, after having given a full hour of her undivided attention to her child, may think she can shift her attention to doing other things. The moment she tries to call a friend or do some of her chores she finds her offspring demanding even more or her attention.
A child, or an adult for that matter, doesn’t possess a vessel that contains a certain amount of attention and once filled with that amount he or she will be satisfied. Rather when it comes to wanting attention both children and adults want attention when they want it, regardless of how much they have just received.
Attention as a method of controlling others
Controlling others is an equally important activity occupying our everyday life. In emphasizing that contention, the HRA proposes that from the time we are born until we take our last breath we are constantly in pursuit of one goal. That is: to control our world and the people in it so things come-out our way (2.) Every day and in every way we direct our actions toward that goal and when psychologists say that all behavior is purposeful, I think it means that all behavior serves the purpose of controlling or having influence over our world and the people in it.
Control is defined as: “The act or power of controlling; regulation; domination or command.” The word power, as defined by the same dictionary is: “The possession of control or command over others.” (3.) You will note that the word power is used to define control and the word control is used to define power. This would suggest that the words power and control are interchangeable and will be used in that way in this discussion.
When we gain someone’s attention, by saying or doing something, we are commanding what she is currently doing. We have gained control over her. For if she is attending to us she cannot be attending to someone or something else. And if we continue to be the focus of her attention we have total control over her, at least for the time we have control of her attention.
Attention as a reward
Early psychologists, when investigating how behaviors are acquired, proposed that they are acquired through learning. These early, investigative research efforts resulted in what is currently called learning or behavioral theory. At the core of learning is that called a reward. Simply put learning theory suggests that anything that follows a behavior and causes that behavior to continue or increase, is a reward.
Learning theory also uses the word reinforcement to describe what a reward does. As you know reinforce means to strengthen and it is exactly what a reward does when it follows a behavior - it strengthens the behavior’s presence and assures that the behavior will occur again.
Rewards are overwhelmingly and inescapably important in our everyday lives. They actually dictate our behavior, thus directing our every action. A reward is especially meaningful to a person. It is something that serves a purpose. It can be something that satisfies a need; something that is so desirable that the person will act or behave in all manners of action to attain it. Attention is a reward. And because attention is a reward, it too has the same power as do other rewards causing us to learn various behaviors.
For a full discussion of the effects rewards have on learning you can consult an a text on the subject of learning (4.)
Positive attention as a reward
I stated earlier that attention is given in three ways: Visual, Verbal and Physical. When any of the three types of attention is given it can also be presented one of two ways; positively and negatively. Attention, when presented in a positive manner, is delivered in a cordial, pleasant and a complementary fashion such that both parties sense the encounter as a friendly interchange.
Recently I was watching the Masters Golf tournament on T.V. and was struck by what people will do just to gain positive physical attention from a celebrity, in this case the winner of the tournament. As the winner walked to the clubhouse to register his score he was greeted by two lines of people, one on each side of his path. Both lines reached out with their hands and as the golfer walked by he would slap the outstretched hands of these excited individuals. They in turn would withdraw their hands and look at the physically touched appendage with an expression of glee and admiration, as though it is now something more prized than it was before. Now mind you, these “touched” people had to pay a huge sum of money to be there. They also had to stand around for many hours, in the hot sun, including the time spent waiting to get on the grounds, only to enjoy the privilege of being touched by another.
Negative Attention as a reward
When negative attention is given it is usually done so in a critical and faultfinding manner such as chastizing the person for misbehaving. But, just as with positive attention, when negative attention is given after a behavior that behavior will have a tendency to be repeated because it is rewarded by the attention, albeit negative attention. Negative and positive attention can both serve as a reward for any behavior, appropriate or inappropriate.
Many are surprised to hear that we will actually behave to get negative attention, but we do. Consider the following:
A few years ago there was a fad or a craze going around the country that involved taking off one’s clothes and, while moving at a brisk trot, one simply displayed his or her natural endowments for other to see. It was called streaking. Why did people streak? They wanted attention and, in this case, they wanted visual attention. Most of the attention was negative as those who observed the event saw it as disgusting. Just as negative visual attention can elicit undesirable behavior so also can negative verbal attention do the same.
A famous entertainer was being openly and severely criticized by a movie magazine. The article reported that this bizarre and scandalous behavior was not just a passing fancy, it was, as the magazine contended, part of the total life style of this once renowned performer. Surprisingly, as it worked out, the reports were not true, but nothing came from the entertainer. Nothing but a brisk “no comment.” Sometime later after the buzzing died down, the artist confided his reason for being silent. It went something like this: “The only way you know you are somebody is if people pay attention to you. Even if they criticize you they are paying attention. I really don’t care what people are saying about me as long as they are saying something.”
The “streaker” and the entertainer mentioned above are clear examples of people receiving negative attention. An even more common example of negative attention comes from the classroom.
Most school teachers will tell you that some children will use misbehavior as a method of gaining their attention. They do such things as making unnecessary comments, not following directions, provoking other students or generally disrupting the class. They do this so that the teacher will immediately attend to them. They learned early that if you want to get the teachers attention, misbehave and you’ll get it.
When and if the student wants attention he only needs to repeat the behavior that got him the attention earlier. The teacher’s attention inadvertently rewarded the misbehavior. To most of us this kind of attention seems punishing, but it is nonetheless attention and when that attention follows a behavior, in this case a misbehavior, it rewards the behavior ensuring that the behavior will occur again.
It should be mentioned again that neither the teacher nor the student are consciously aware that they are giving or responding to the negative attention as a reward for the misbehavior and it is this lack of awareness that contributes to another problem that could be called an Attention Trap.
Beware of the Attention Trap
There is this extraordinary thing that can occur unknowingly to the parties involved. It involves a sequence of events. Say a person, the first person, were to woefully comment on how they are feeling or voice a nagging complaint about one thing or another. A second person, hoping to be helpful, will offer advice thought to be beneficial to the first person.
As was suggested earlier, the advice offered by the second person comes in the form of attention, specifically verbal and visual attention. If that attention immediately follows the comments or complaints, that attention can well serve as a reward, resulting is the first person continuing those comments or complaints. Once again it’s be noted that both parties are engaging in the activity without conscious awareness. Both are behaving unwittingly while at the same time falling in to the Attention Trap.
The Attention Trap is harmful to both parties. For the first person, the one who is making the comments or complaints, he or she is unknowingly trapped by the reward of attention that follows to continue enacting the same verbal behaviors. However and at the same time the second person, the person giving the attention, the reward, will soon tire of hearing the same remarks repeatedly. This could easily cause the second person to “wear out” and be less “understanding” in their thinking of the other. All of which can serve to disrupt the relationship.
Awareness is the first-line of defense in preventing the attention trap. However if the parties are already trapped, they should openly discuss how to further handle the situation. This would involve how and when the comments and complaints are to be made and how and when the attention is given. Failing that they should enlist the aid of a mental health professional.
References
1. Webster’s New World College Dictionary 5th ed. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. Boston, New York 2018.
2. Why We Behave The Way We Do: The Houle Relationship Approach. Houle, Thomas 2nd Edition.
Tomar House Publishing, Vero Beach, FL 2023.
3. The Random House Webster’s College Dictionary (2000), New York.
4. Baldwin, J. D. & Baldwin, J. I. Behavior Principles In Everyday Life. Prentice Hall Upper Saddle
River, New Jersey 4th Edition, 2001.
Thanks for visiting.
